Guts are fun for the whole family. Nothing brings a family closer together than talking about liver function or how many ways a spleen is useful. However, please be aware that your uterus may be faulty. Apparently, small children could pull off the ovaries, sticking them in their mouths and choking on them. I myself have never had this problem, but I'm not saying that it couldn't happen.
Direct from the recall site: "If you gave the uterus as a gift, please forward this email to the recipient(s)."
"If your...uterus is NOT accessible to young children, and you wish to keep your beloved uterus, you may opt-out via email."
They cannot replace the uterus once you return it, but they will give you a refund and a discount on another organ. You have many to choose from:
"The giant orgy of guts includes heart, lungs, liver, kidney, brain, pancreas and gallbladder."I am ordering this post-haste because they referred to this being a "giant orgy". I'm all in.
If it is "being used by a young child, please remove it immediately."
It would seem to me that some child, somewhere, is going to be broken-hearted at the loss of her uterus at such a young age. So sad. Now what will she hang her dreams of the future on? Certainly not her ovaries.
There are those who will say, "Shame on you for making fun of people. You know some young girls do have to have their uterus removed for medical reasons." To those people who grumble at me, I say, "May you choke on my ovaries".
This may replace my "Suck it, all of you" line since Tina Fey used it at the SAG Awards, or the Globes, or wherever that was. She can choke on my ovaries too.
XOXO
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14 comments:
As you know, last November I had it out with my Uterus. I was so sick of that bitch making my life hell! I met with my "hit man" and we devised a plan to kill her and make it look like an "accident". She knew something was up. I think her and my bladder were pretty tight, my "hit man" said my bladder was depressed after losing her favorite organ to hang out with. My story ends happily. My bladder started seeing my kidney. They seem happy together. As far as my Uterus? Good riddence! I hope my lips hit her in the ass on her way out!
Well, this is interesting... I'd like to order that just to have it.
"May hope you choke on my ovaries"??
(((hugs)))
You know Cam, yours may have simply been faulty. I think you could've gotten a great deal on an extra pancreas or something.
They have the sexy reproductive organ sticker set too Meeks! And thanks for the edit. :)
I would love to have some organs to play with.
Damn uterus with it's faulty ovaries.
Just think Kathy - you could put tulips on an organ and...
I know Jessie. Keep your ovaries to yourself please!
LOL okay, now I've officially seen it all...although, I can't imagine my little one walking around with a uterus. That would creep me out a tad.
How about if your little one has a spleen or a small intestine. Is that any better? OH! I think you can get a prostate gland as well!
When I waas teaching ESL to adults, I had two highly educated men who were learning business english from me. I asked one of them to write an email to me. This one wasn't business, but requesting something from a colleague (as opposed to a business client). he ended the email with "Thank you Ovary Mush."
Love, Nora
I had to say it out loud to figure out that he meant "Thank you very much" and explaining it to him was something altogether hysterically funny.
Now, my mom and I both say, "Thank you ovary mush" to everything. I still envision mushy ovaries. Today, however, I only wish they were mushy. They're not. They're rock hard causing period shits and kidney issues and I just want to sleep for a month (or the rest of the week till it lets up)...just sayin'...I know...TMI!
This reminds me of that song about the detachable penis.
You're so funny. I think those things are cute. What a good idea.
P.S. I liked those things so much I shared the link with others on facebook :D
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