What does that say?

I was talking with my friend, and she’s looking into getting a tattoo. She’s decided on a Chinese symbol. Or maybe Japanese. I have a problem with this. Actually, I have several:

She is not Chinese (or Japanese)

She does not speak Chinese (or Japanese)

I do not think she owns a wok and if she does, she likely doesn’t know how to cook in it

So first of all, she has to take a leap of faith that she’s getting the symbol for what she actually wants. I mean, one tiny bar where it shouldn’t be and it goes from “Happy Life” to “I am a douchebag”.

If it’s Japanese, how can she be certain it’s not a code indicating that the attack on Pearl Harbor was awesome?

Do the symbols mean something different if looked at upside down or sideways? What about a mirror reflection? You just don’t know!

What if in Chinese it means “I love sex” and in Japanese it means “I love sex with mules”?

And what if in old age, a liverspot turns up near the tattoo, transforming it from meaning “powerful warrior” to “I shit in my pants”?

Now, she’ll have this tattoo and not a single person who doesn’t read the language will know what it says, and in all honesty, neither will she.

I know, I know, the tat is for her, not for other people. Whatever. People are still going to wonder.

My real problem is this:

If I’m getting a tattoo, it’s going to be of something that means something to me. The significance of the Chinese culture in my life ended when I found out that the “ancient Chinese secret” that Mr. Lee used to get shirts so clean was just regular old fucking laundry detergent. And to add insult to injury, it can’t even be used in a high efficiency front-loading washer

If I were Chinese, I’d be pissed that people were exploiting my culture and my language because it looked neat, or because they really dig moo shoo pork or Kabuto steak house.

I mean, you may as well get “DONDE ESTA LAS PUTAS” tattooed on your ass.

How about whatever the German words for “suck it, all of you” are? Someone hit "translate" for me and find out, would ya?

Here's what I want mine to say:

Use the image above it to translate.
XOXO