Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Porn)

I think that I shall invent a new video game. I will call it…



WII PORN



Yes, I will design my game to work with the Wii. I will market it as the game for women. The goal of my game will be to get the “man” to have an orgasm.

Instead of a nun chuck attachment, it will have a dildo-like attachment. If you’ve ever played any of the games where you have to pump the controller to reload, you realize that this movement totally simulates that of a hand job, especially when you’re pumping it furiously in an attempt to fill up your water pistol in the carnival game before the person next to you does, with your tongue hanging out the side of your mouth.

Wii Porn will also make use of the Wii Fit Balance Board. Much like the hula-hoop game, the board will be able to detect a shift in your center of balance to determine if you’re moving your hips at the right angles for the most enjoyment, or if your tempo is conducive to him blowing his load. Just imagine a game where you can give virtual handjobs, blow jobs, and rock your hips rhythmically to make him shoot his Wii goo all up inside your Mii.

Of course, there would be player-controlled porn scenes at all the right moments, depending on how vigorously you were whackin’ it and whether or not your game ends prematurely because you weren't in synch with your "partner" and you bent his cock in half.

Of course, there would be increasing levels of difficulty. Like you’d start with an 18-year old virgin and work your way up to a porn star. Each man being increasingly more difficult to get off. You would have to get each off three different ways, hand job, blow job, and penetration. You would not get to conquer the next person until you’ve done your duty each way.

This game would work for up to 4 players, each with their own controllers. There would be a selection on the menu for “group play” or perhaps “orgy”.

As with all games, there would be an Easter Egg or secret bonus round. The bonus round, would be the player, as a woman, bringing a gay man to orgasm. I’ll even let you in on the non-published secret of that one. You do the hand job, or “shaking” motion with the controller and then, at the last moment, you sit down on the balance board, and bounce.



GAME OVER



Come to think of it, that would work for any of the levels. Just saying. You guys are pretty easy.

Perhaps there would even be accessories for your Wii Porn controller. You know, like a piercing or a tattoo. Or even a controller condom so that you could actually insert it, and have it be sanitary.

Perhaps the controllers could come in different colors, different lengths, and different girths. You know, you but the one that suits you.

Now I realize this does nothing for straight men or lesbians. I’m sorry about that. I go with what I know. That’s just a fact of life. I’m 100% positive that this could be somehow adapted to pleasing a woman, although it would be a much more difficult game. *giggles*

I see a market for this. Hopefully it’s an untapped market. I’d tap that!